The Uncertainty of War

After more than two years of inner fights and resistance to change I surrender to health issues and just accept life as it was, trying to adapt to new conditions and rules. After several weeks of my acceptance, a new life test occurred - early morning 24th February 2022 the full-scale invasion into Ukraine began. 

Feeling Deja Vue I could not believe that it was true and real war, outer war began. Using all spiritual techniques that I already knew helped me to survive somehow the first week of the invasion. I was very calm and balanced, moreover, the full-scale invasion awakened me even more and my panic attacks, anxiety disorder, and mind fog lowered hundreds of times, I became extremely focused and present here and now understanding that I was fully responsible not only for my life, but also for life of my parents.

Those first days of the invasion showed me how much human life was fragile and vulnerable and how much should I appreciate just being alive and having the ability to breathe.

All material things became unimportant in seconds as I took only one small rucksack with documents, my pillow, and my blanket. That was the second time after the uncertainty of illness when I said goodbye to my past life and my old self, but this time I left all my belongings somewhere in the middle of war realizing that all of those did not matter, only human life mattered and had a sense. 

From the person possessing so many things, I turned just into a nobody, having only my rucksack and my passport that identified me as Yuliia Berhe, Ukrainian. That was the only identification that was left.

The uncertainty of war prepared me again for the next step in my life creating the mental foundation for resilience, survival, and strength. 

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With love,

Yuliia Berhe

P.S. This visual was done by AI from photo made by me. The original photo was very symbolic and was made in Eternal Rome.